Sunday, July 9, 2017

Books of June

In June I had two attacks of bronchitis so I didn't have much to do except read in bed.  Here are my June books:
I suggested this for my book club after reading positive reviews about its story of the immigrant experience.  What a disappointment.  Amazon listed it as one of the best books of the year so far, but I found it boring.  A young couple from an unnamed Middle Eastern country escape their war-torn city through a magic door.  I didn't care for the characters because I never really got to know them other than superficially, and the door (and additional doors) made the story boring for me.
About Bjorn Borg and John McEnroe and their famous rivalry as well as anecdotes about other tennis stars of the Borg-McEnroe era.  Intreresting read if you like tennis, and I do.

Until Roger Federer came along, John McEnroe was my favorite tennis player, and I enjoyed his previous book, You Cannot Be Serious, but this one was a disappointment.  Not well written and not much substance.

On her sixteenth birthday, Teva "hatches" from the body of her fifteen-year-old self and assumes Fifteen's life.  Her house, locked away from the rest of the world, is filled with former versions of herself, younger and younger.  In a year, a new clone of herself will break out, but Teva vows not to let that happen.  Why all these clones?  Why won't her mother explain?  What happened to Teva's father?  Interesting premise.

This is a true storey aboiut Lonnie Sue Johnson whose memory was completely wiped away due to a severe attack of encephalitis.  We learn about her previous life as an artist, pilot, musecian and about how she copes with a life without a past and her case has contributed to medical science.

Very different from Emma Donahue's book Room, this is the light-hearted story of a non-traditional family coping with the addition to the family circle of their grandfather.

Yes, we've had actors as governors and as president but a comedian as a senator?  From Saturday Night Live?  Surprisingly, I learned a lot about how the Senate works and gained some respect for Senator Franken.  Interesting read, currently on the NY Times best seller list.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Antarctica


I've never been a fan of Anthony Bordain's Parts Unknown series.  The food he raves about sounds barely edible, so I rarely watch.  But when I saw trailers of his trip to Antarctica, I knew I would tune in.  I wondered what he would eat there because for sure there are no restaurants in Antarctica.  So what would it be--penguin sandwiches< seal steak?  I couldn't wait to find out.

He visited most of the bases there and I learned that fresh food was flown in.  Pretty good but nothing as exotic as Bordain's usual fare.  He visited the actual pole--exciting.

For years, visiting Antarctica was #1 on my bucket list.  The far away icy land appealed to me, and for years I suggested to my husband that we do an Antarctic cruise, and for years he would reply, "Next year."  Finally, in 2001 I insisted it was now or never.  So we scheduled a trip on the Marco Polo for January 2002.  I was super-elated.

We bought ski masks, heavy gloves, silk underwear, thick socks.  I borrowed a pair of boots from a cousin.  We bought wrist bands with vibrators to ward off seasickness.  I read the travel book from cover to cover.  Finally we were on our way.

We met our group in Miami, all of us crowding into a conference room.  Most of the people seemed friendly and interesting.  Everyone but one lady expressed their excitement about the cruise.  She said, with a mixture of boredom and condescension , "This will be my seventh continent."  If we were supposed to be impressed, I wasn't.

We flew to Ushuaia, Argentina, the southernmost city in the world.  We strolled along the oceanfront and came upon a store selling every kind of fudge you can imagine.  I don't eat chocolate--it triggers migraine--but I could certainly enjoy the chocolate smell.

On our ship we did the usual lifeboat drill, unpacked, ate dinner and headed out to sea.  Each day there were lectures about history, sea birds, penguins, science--all very interesting.  The ship gave out thick orange parkas.  Mine was too big but we eventually got that straightened out.  On deck we watched albatross flying above us.  They are huge.

Our first landing, on Deception Island, was cancelled because of high winds but our second, not a landing but a Zodiac cruise, at Courverville, was great fun.  We watched the gentoo penguins--adorable but smelly.  We saw them stretching their necks, expanding their chests like bellows  and squealing when they were excited or maybe just showing off for the tourists, watched them slide into the water.  Icebergs were all around.  It felt like another world.

That night several British scientists from Port Lockery told about their primitive living conditions.  The next day at Paradise Bay we saw more penguins, glaciers, icebergs (some at least 100,000 years old)  We saw a Weddell seal sleeping on shore.  Later, back on board, we passed a large whale.
At Half Moon Bay we saw chinstrap penguins--sooo cute but also quite smelly.  That was our final landing, and soon the ship was heading north across the Drake Passage.  The trip south was pleasant but the return was miserable.  The ship rocked constantly and you felt as if something was pressing down on your head.  Once we rounded Cape Horn, the water was smooth again.  What a relief.

In Ushuaia we visited the park where we saw the end of the Pan American Highway.  Soon we were on our way back home.  That was one of the most memorable trips of my life.


Sunday, June 4, 2017

Books of May

Written by the author of The Emperor of All Maladies, a book about cancer, this book is about the history of our knowledge of genes, beginning with Mendel's pea plants and continuing through the successful mapping of the human genome.  It's very long, but it reads like an adventure story and is well worth the reader's time.

Not long after the publication of her successful book, Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg's husband died suddenly.  She said, with no more Option A, she was left with Option B, and her book takes us through her grieving process.  As  a long-time widow, I was interested in adding this to my collection of how-to-survive-widowhood books.  It was interesting but it didn't tell me much I didn't already know.  Okay for a new widow but not so much for someone like me, who's been around the block.

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

quote for the week

How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.
                              Annie Dillard

Monday, May 29, 2017

Who Am I? Guest blogger, Paula Kelman


Paula Kelman is studying to be a yoga teacher with two amazing mentors, Richard Boustany and Sharon Kapp.

Paula is a graphic designer, mother to two amazing children, daughter Anat and son Avi, and grandmother to two precious granddaughters, Noa and Ella.  She lives in Houston, Texas, surrounded by art and wonderful memories and close enough to the grandkids to see them very often!  She no longer runs half marathons or does cross fit because yoga and meditating are better for you.

Her husband, Uri Kelman, passed away May 25, 2015.

Here is Paula's answer to Who Am I?

I am FEARLESS, because the worst thing that I could possibly accept into my life, the loss of my precious husband, has already happened, and I did not break or die.

I am FREE of sadness, only filled with gratitude and memory.

I am CREATING my new self and creating who that person is by releasing practices that no longer serve my higher health, spiritual development and physical preservation of the body.

I ENJOY companionship, including the intimate sexual kind, but I am not interested in sacrificing myself to have a man in my bed.  That may be the biggest part of letting go.

I am creating Moments and Memories and Love, not attachments and possessions.

I am part of the One whole, part of the universe but I can stand on my own.


My thanks to Paula for this inspiring piece.
                     Thelma

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Quotes for the Week: About Birthdays

Today is my xx birthday.  Enjoy these birthday quotes:




Sunday, May 21, 2017

Lillie's Loan by Toby Myers

I'm delighted to have Toby Myers' guest blog this week.  I know you'll enjoy this poignant essay she wrote about her mother.  I loved it when I first heard it and asked if she'd share it here.


Lillie's Loan
Having lived through the depression, many, including my mother Lillie viewed buying anything but a house on credit as a diabolical scheme contrived to put the borrower on a squirrel cage of never-ending indenture. She had to choose the early matriculating high school diploma reserved for those going right to work rather than pursuing further education.  She got the message loud and clear that education was the ticket out of the ghetto albeit reserved for males.  She and her sister, vaccinated with that needle, left school to contribute to their brother's medical school expenses.  Lillie worked hard all of her life.  She was a working mother when, rather than admired and supported, was looked down on because of the aspersions a working wife cast on main breadwinner competency.  She became an incomparable saleswoman.  She worked with my father in his men's clothing store though most of her pre-marital work had been in women's clothes.  An oft repeated legend about her was when a customer took a liking to a too-small-for-him suit in the store, Lillie told him she was not going to sell him that suit unless he made a solemn promise to lose weight.  He put the suit in layaway.  When he finished paying for it, he had lost enough weight to wear it; both fit and looked well.  He related the story whenever he wore his all-time favorite suit.

When my father died suddenly, Lillie was in her 50's and living in Amarillo with no family anywhere near.  Both my sister and I were in Houston.  At our urging, she moved to be closer to us.  Very quickly she landed a job at The Barclay Apartments at Kirby and Bellefontaine as one of their building managers.  She was then very near my Old Braeswood home.  With the job came a free apartment.  Abruptly, some years later, the owners decided no longer to have "mature" women managers, but couples were the way to go.  The rationale was that the man of the couple could help with light maintenance and it would still be only one apartment needed.  The unpaired women managers were let go.  For Lillie this was both hard and humiliating.  Never before had she been let go from a job.  For the first time in her life, she took government money in the form of unemployment.  She had to check in with the Texas Employment Commission regularly to verify her job seeking activities.  On one particular morning, fully dressed for an interview with Foley's in Sharpstown, she stopped by her friend Rose's apartment.  She told Rose she would be back very soon so to put the coffee on in about an hour.  No one, thought Lillie, is going to hire someone over sixty.  She could not have been more wrong.  When the interviewers at Foley's met with her, learned of her experience, and saw how she conducted herself, they were so impressed that she was hired on the spot and did not leave the store but went immediately to work.  Lillie had to call Rose to cancel the coffee and their visit.  She worked from then on in the couture women's clothing department called the Signature Shop.  Her best and most well-known customer was Miss Ima Hogg, who would allow no one but my mother to help her.

Lillie worried about having enough money to live on in retirement.  After my father's death, she received his modest, even for those days, life insurance policy benefit.  Her goal was to live abstemiously, except for getting her hair and nails done, to see if she could grow $30,000 to $100,000,  She figured she could sustain herself with that amount.  By 1984 when she turned 75, she was close.  Interest rates were then, right before the Savings and Loan debacle, inordinately high at 12% per annum which meant on $100,000 the earnings from a jumbo CD would be $1000 a month.  With $1000 a month, her Social Security benefits, and her long practice of frugality, Lillie would be able to retire and be comfortable.

On a typical evening in June, Bob and I were home watching television.  The phone rang and it was my mother Lillie.  I answered.  Inevitably, the conversation turned to how close Lillie was to her goal.  She was now only $2500 shy.  I came up with the idea of her borrowing the $2500 from the savings and loan and then applying it to the $97,500 she had and purchasing the jumbo CD.  Pleased and encouraged by the idea, Lillie would attempt it on her day off.  The evening of her day off, she called.  I could tell by her voice things had not gone well.  Crushed and dejected, she related the savings and loan rejected the plan.  Her disappointment was palpable.  My heart broke for her.  I hurriedly excused myself telling her I needed to go and would call her back in a few minutes.  I did not have that kind of money available.  However Bob always kept surplus cash in his account.  I looked at him and then asked if he had $2500 in his account that I needed immediately, and could I have it for several months.  Dear, wonderful, supportive Bob, without even a questions as to what it was for, he told me he did and I could.  He wrote a check then and there.  I called my mom back and told her I would loan her the money.  Had I told her it was Bob's money, she would not have taken it.  "I am coming right over with the check," I said.  On the way to her place, I deposited his check in the night depository to my account.  When I got to her house, I wrote her a check.  That was around the end of April 1984.  She agreed to repay the loan with the $1000 interest she would get in June and again in July and the last $500 when she got the interest for August.  August was the first month that she would have any of the interest for herself and the debt would be repaid.  Lillie paid the last of the $2500 off early in August.  Her having achieved her goal was a celebratory time.  No longer was she so agitated about retirement and the future.  Bob and I both took great comfort in having helped her realize something that meant so much to her; moreover, it had been pretty easy from our end.

On August 30th, she made dinner, did up the kitchen, and lay down for a rest.  I tried calling her about six in the evening and did not get an answer.  I did not give it too much thought, thinking that it was day off and she probably visiting with one of the neighbors.  Bob and I went to Target to pick up something. There we saw Hakeem Olajuwon. Still no answer.  I called my sister and she too mentioned that she had not heard from nor been able to reach our mother.  We decided to meet at her apartment to see that everything was all right.  While waiting for my sister, Susan, to arrive, I went to my mother's car and felt the hood to see if it was warm.  Maybe she had just come back from being out and now was in the bathroom not able to hear or answer my ring.  The hood was cold.  When Susan got there, we went in to our mom's spotless condo and found that she lay down after dinner and died.  Ever the ideal employee, Lillie conveniently died on her day off.  She looked very peaceful in her bed, above which hung our pictures and our college diplomas that meant so much to her. Susan and I sought and found consolation knowing that our mother died having achieved her important goal and died debt free.  Yet we were sad, knowing how hard she worked and had not gotten to enjoy retirement the way we had hoped she would.  But as we have all hear, it is not the destination but the journey, and maybe the journey was enough.  At least, we like to think so.
 

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